Tag Archives: children

Honey, I’m Home!

18 Oct

That’s right.  My absence can be attributed to the time I’ve had to spend in prison these past few months after being charged with aggressive and lewd behavior.

I’m totally kidding.  I’m not aggressive or lewd.  Nor did I do time in the pokey.  I’ve just been busy moving back home after the tornado pulled its stunt at the beginning of the year.  And enrolling my kid in a cyber academy.

I’ll bet that if you scroll through all the posts on this website along with all the posts on my previous blog sites….you’ll no doubt find that I did some homeschool-bashing at one point.  In my defense, I’m not REALLY homeschooling.  Technically, it’s a public charter school with real teachers, a schedule, curriculum.  I think we all know what would happen if I was solely responsible for my kid’s education.  It’d go a little something like this:

It’s going a little bit like a pimple.  It hurts but you know it’ll eventually get better.  I hope.  I’ve been taking an obnoxious number of showers.  It’s my escape.  The “ME” time that will keep me from developing a twitch.  I mean, right now it’s all I got.  If you click on “My Shop” at the top of the page, you’ll see nothing.  Not a thing.  I should put a tumbleweed gif up in there and tell people to keep the faith.  Maybe one day I’ll get back to making that fake food that people were so willing to pay top dollar for.

Until that happens, I’ll be right here.  All day.  All week.  Instructing and implementing techniques to keep a 12 year old corralled like a wild horse straight out of a cheesy western movie. Maybe I’ll share some tips and insights.  Maybe I won’t.  Like I’ve said before…..it’s all a crap shoot, man.  And sometimes the dice are loaded. Sometimes they’re not.


4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 87 More Days

7 Jan



4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 104 More Days

19 Nov


Crime and Parenting

30 Sep


My ten year old daughter watches the morning news.  I know, I know.  But we drew the line at her drinking black coffee while watching.  That counts for something, right?  If the TV is on cartoons while she’s getting ready, she’ll be like, “Yeah, I’m gonna need the news before we go any further.”  She’s always been a nosy child.  Her Dad and I are always right there to answer any questions she may have.  And trust me.  There have been questions.

But last night I found myself trying to explain capital punishment to her.  The reason being, she caught wind of Kelly Gissendaner’s pending execution.  If you’re unfamiliar with the case, Gissendaner was the only woman on death row here in the state of Georgia.  She was sentenced to death after a jury found her guilty for convincing her lover to kill her husband.  The guy who did the actual stabbing will be up for parole in 2022.  Gissendaner was scheduled to be executed at 7:00 pm last night but her legal team went into an appeal frenzy and the execution wasn’t carried out until 12:21 a.m. this morning.  My kid supported the appealing.  “It’s not fair to die if the other killer guy isn’t dying too.”  Kid rationalizing.

When she asked what capital punishment was, I gave her the whole “eye for an eye” explanation.  But  you could clearly see her trying to process all of the contradictions that surrounded it.  I myself struggle with the whole thing.  I wanted to make sure she understood that legally ending someone’s life was not something to be taken lightly.  It wasn’t Twitter entertainment.  It was also not an excuse to stay up past bedtime.

I questioned my parenting skills when I saw her run to the kitchen for snacks, informing her Dad, “Hey man, I gotta go.  This whole peeling process is heating up.”  We told her it was bedtime.  She told us there was one more appeal pending in the U.S. Supreme Court.  We said we didn’t care.  She said we should.  We said we were the boss.  She said she had a right to an appeal.

While most days I completely fail at parenting, this morning I’m fairly sure I made a good parenting choice when I decided not to say, “Hey, they executed that woman last night” on the way to school.

Don’t judge me.


4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 137 More Days

30 Sep


Katrina: Ten Years Later

28 Aug

Ten years ago I sat all swollen and pregnant and watched with disbelief while an angry woman named Katrina completely obliterated one of the most sui generis cities in our nation.  Part of my disbelief was that the night before Katrina made landfall, I had a dream.  In that dream there was a flooded city with dead bodies floating in the water.  I woke up and immediately shared the whole disturbing thing with my husband who replied with:

“Hun, you’re pregnant.  You eat dirt and ham.”

Let me first say that this dream was in no way a psychic vision.  I’ve always been a bit of a human barometer, so I think I was subconsciously aware of what the current weather situation was capable of.  Besides, this was America.  We don’t let people die in a storm and float around in diseased infested water.

Days before Katrina made landfall, various weather-casters tried to explain the severity of the impending storm.  Perhaps the most memorable news cast was when Chad Myers (CNN)  flipped out on Carol Costello.  Even before Katrina, I sensed Chad was a bit high-strung.  This was pretty much confirmed when he threw down his papers and started yelling at Carol, “Well if you would let me talk!”

I think his frustration was due to people not taking the weather predictions seriously.  But this is the south.  During hurricane season, there are always warnings and advisories.  We’ve been hearing about the “Big One” for years. So when evacuation orders were given in New Orleans, not everyone heeded the warnings.  But communities are different in coastal Louisiana. More close-knit.  They depend more on each other and less on strangers.  I somewhat understood this.

But when I started seeing people frantically trying to seek shelter in the Louisiana Superdome, I knew this was no ordinary storm.  I watched in disbelief as mothers held babies stripped down to diapers because of the heat, pleading to the news cameras to help them.  I remember saying over and over, “Why aren’t we helping them?!”


Cash Smith and his four-year-old son Tahj, of New Orleans, listen to a news conference at Denver International Airport announcing the placement of 18 refugees from Hurricane Katrina, Saturday, Sept. 3, 2005, in Denver. Smith and his family will stay in Denver at a local hotel. (AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

Mayor Ray Nagin appeared on television, strongly urging residents to find a way out of the city.  And if you stayed behind, Nagin assured, “We will take care of you.”  He also encouraged them to bring their own supplies due to the Superdome being “a refuge of last resort”. Over 20, 000 trusting people made their was to the Superdome, completely unaware that there wasn’t nearly enough water for everyone.  There was no designated medical staff, no sick-bay.  Very few cots were available.  There was no air conditioning and minimal lighting.  Toilets began to over-flow.  Babies and children were seen lying on cardboard, their eyes wide with terror.  Eventually, people became exhausted and hungry.  Fights broke out. Violence escalated.

Convention Center



A couple of weeks later, I laid on a hospital bed in the hallway of  an overflowing maternity ward due to pregnant and laboring women who had been flown in from New Orleans after they were forced to evacuate the hospitals.  My daughter was born alongside children who had no home to return to.  I watched new mothers who were unable to savor the moment because their minds were too occupied with questions of survival.  I remember thinking to myself, “I will tell my daughter about this.  I will tell her about how sobering it was to see tiny miracles in the midst of tragedy.”

So I kept newspapers and put clippings in her baby book.  All of the pictures in this post were actual screen shots that I took while everything was going on because I knew one day this would be something I would explain to my unborn child.  As another hurricane (Erika) creeps toward us today, I will pull out those clippings.  I will show her these pictures.

And I will remind her of the fragility of life and the indomitable strength of the human soul.




3rd Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 25 More Days

13 Apr



3rd Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 32 More Days

26 Mar



3rd Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 33 More Days

25 Mar


3rd Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 36 More Days

20 Mar

Happy Spring!



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