Tag Archives: blog

Honey, I’m Home!

18 Oct

That’s right.  My absence can be attributed to the time I’ve had to spend in prison these past few months after being charged with aggressive and lewd behavior.

I’m totally kidding.  I’m not aggressive or lewd.  Nor did I do time in the pokey.  I’ve just been busy moving back home after the tornado pulled its stunt at the beginning of the year.  And enrolling my kid in a cyber academy.

I’ll bet that if you scroll through all the posts on this website along with all the posts on my previous blog sites….you’ll no doubt find that I did some homeschool-bashing at one point.  In my defense, I’m not REALLY homeschooling.  Technically, it’s a public charter school with real teachers, a schedule, curriculum.  I think we all know what would happen if I was solely responsible for my kid’s education.  It’d go a little something like this:

It’s going a little bit like a pimple.  It hurts but you know it’ll eventually get better.  I hope.  I’ve been taking an obnoxious number of showers.  It’s my escape.  The “ME” time that will keep me from developing a twitch.  I mean, right now it’s all I got.  If you click on “My Shop” at the top of the page, you’ll see nothing.  Not a thing.  I should put a tumbleweed gif up in there and tell people to keep the faith.  Maybe one day I’ll get back to making that fake food that people were so willing to pay top dollar for.

Until that happens, I’ll be right here.  All day.  All week.  Instructing and implementing techniques to keep a 12 year old corralled like a wild horse straight out of a cheesy western movie. Maybe I’ll share some tips and insights.  Maybe I won’t.  Like I’ve said before…..it’s all a crap shoot, man.  And sometimes the dice are loaded. Sometimes they’re not.


Cronut Crack

9 Feb



I screwed up.  I screwed up bad, yo.  Yesterday I slithered through the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru for an iced coffee and saw that they had croissant donuts on the menu.  So I was like, “Don’t mind if I do!”  And I did.  Oh did I ever.  I know, I know.  I’m a little late to the party.  I mean, they’ve been around for what….4 years now?

Now ya’ll know I make fake pastries and sell them on the internets…so I was already aware of Dominique Ansel’s Bakery in New York.  (I try to use real food as inspiration.)  But somehow I totally missed the fact that he’s the one who actually invented the Cronut.  I vaguely remember seeing something on the Today Show about long lines trying to get some donut hybrid thing, but I didn’t pay much attention.  I don’t do chatty early morning talk shows. Also, I try to stay away from fads until they are no longer fads.

But I’m here to tell you right now this very moment that I am unequivocally addicted to the Dunkin Donut Boston Kreme Croissant Donut like a squirrel on smack.  This morning I went creeping up in there like a Ninja.  They totally remembered me.  I’m like that crackhead that circles around the block and comes back trying to act like he someone else.  Only I’m not someone else.  I’m just an aging woman with a bad back and no shame.

My kid can never find out about this.  Like ever.



4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 148 More Days

15 Sep



4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 168 More Days

17 Aug


Grilled Cheese Roll Ups

14 Aug

So I was tooling around over on Pinterest and I began to see a rolling theme.  Rolled grilled cheese, french toast, blueberry cakey thingies….all things edible, rolled up into a tube ‘o joy.  (You can check out my Pinterest Board suitably named “They See Me Rollin’…”)

So.  I decided to try the grilled cheese roll ups.  I figured I’d have a lower percentage rate of having a Pinterest Fail on my hands.  Also, I did a tutorial.  Because there’s nothing more presumptuous than a tutorial.


  1.  Start out with a few slices of super soft bread.  Cut the crusts off.  You can use a knife…scissors.  Just remove the crusts.rollup
  2. Then you take a rolling pin and flatten them out.


3.  Place one slice of cheese on each slice of bread.  I really shouldn’t have to tell you this.


4.  Then roll them up.  I had to use a wee bit of water to seal the edges.  But you may not have to do that if you have magic hands.


5.  Melt some butter in a pan.  I used real butter.  Don’t judge me.


6.  Put your rolls ups in the melted butter and roll them around until all sides are browned.


7.  Drain them on a paper towel.  Or not.  Then serve.



4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 169 More Days

14 Aug



4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 170 More Days

13 Aug



4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 171 More Days

12 Aug



4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 175 More Days

6 Aug


4th Grade Lunch Bag Countdown: 176 More Days

5 Aug

Well, that may have been the shortest summer EVER.  Let the countdown begin!


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