Happy 90th, Queen Elizabeth!

21 Apr

queen lizI love the Queen.  I really do.  And not for her pomp and circumstance.  No.  I love her because she’s ornery.  Like that time when she jumped out of a helicopter with James Bond.  Well, she didn’t REALLY jump.  A stunt person did.  But she WAS in the helicopter and made one helluva entrance to the 2012 London Olympics.  You just know she has a wicked sense of humor made even funnier with the whole crown and robe thing.

In 1977, during the Silver Jubilee festivities, the Queen was informed that perhaps just maybe things were going terribly wrong with the pyrotechnics.  To which she replied, “Oh good.  What fun!”  I mean, who doesn’t like to see an explosion.  I could sit here all day and talk about the Queen’s shenanigans…really, I could.  But I won’t.  I’ll just highlight a few of my faves.

So Happy Birthday, Queen Elizabeth!  Drank yourself a toddy, girl.


  •  During her 1977 Silver Jubilee, she expressed concern that President Idi Amin would gatecrash her party.  He didn’t.  But when asked what she would’ve done had that actually happened, Lord Mountbatten quotes her as saying, “She had decided she would use the City’s Pearl Sword, which the Lord Mayor had placed in front of her, to hit him hard over the head with.
  •  She has an ATM in her basement.
  • She isn’t require to have a driver’s license and is infamous for driving her Range Rover over hill and dale like Cruella de Ville. Also, she refuses to wear a seat belt and has had two formal complaints filed against her for terrorizing pedestrians in Windsor Great Park.
  • She is immune from prosecution.  Meaning, she could hit anyone she wanted with the City’s Pearl Sword and no one could do a bloody thing about it.
  • She owns all of the swans in the River Thames.  ALL of them.
  • Also, she owns all of the whales and sturgeons in the waters surrounding the U.K.
  • She has a not-so-secret tactic of switching her handbag from arm to the other to indicate to her staff that she’s entirely bored with the person she’s conversing with.
  • She was born in a house that is now a Chinese restaurant.
  • Canada sent her a gift of two black beavers, which are now housed in the London Zoo.
  • Brazil sent her a sloth.  Which was also sent to the zoo.
  • She knows and can change a spark plug.
  • The Queen loves her some “Game of Thrones” and even visited the set in 2014.
  • She’s been emailing since 1976.
  • Her official wedding cake was made with ingredients donated by the Australian Girl Scouts.  (Nutella maybe?)
  • How ’bout she fired a footman for giving her Corgi some whiskey drank?!
  • It is recorded that the Queen was a mischievous little imp that liked to climb on tables and hit people in the face with crackers.
  • And to sum it all up, I’ll let the Queen have the final word: “I have to be seen to be believed.”

One Response to “Happy 90th, Queen Elizabeth!”

  1. Michael Cargill April 21, 2016 at 9:11 am #

    It’s a pity one’s onery one didn’t decree that one could have a day off work on one’s birthday.


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