Barbie Body Makeover & Other Stuff

28 Jan


Well would you look at that.  Mattel must have become weary of all the hate mail and crying children because they went and made themselves some new Barbies with three new body types and a bunch of new skin tones.  Tall, curvy and petite.

I don’t care about the tall and petite.  What I want to talk about here today is Mattel’s version of curvy.  Sure, her hips are curvy.  Her arms do have have a shred more meat than the other dolls.  But her belly?  Brother please.  It’s flat.  FLAT.  If they were going for realistic, they missed the mark by a few inches.

What I’d like to see is stretch marks and botched c-section scars.  I’m talking about bellies that look like Indiana road maps.  Busted up feet because there’s no time for pedicures with 5 ungrateful children running around the house.  Yoga pants and a twinge of anger around the eyes because of a lost career and no more girls’ night out.

I guess you could always go with the Lammily doll.


They also come in “normal” body sizes.  But that’s not what makes them special.  What makes them special are the stickers that come with them:  Stretchmarks, scars, acne, bruises, cellulite, stitches, scrapes & scratches, mosquito bites and dirt stains. It’s like create-your-own play thing of sadness, shame and disaster.  And the whole hot mess was created by Nickolay Lamm:  artist and researcher.  (I like that researcher part.)  I do have to give him respect for developing this doll for the main intention of staying true to self and not setting any standards.

I still haven’t made up my mind about the Lammily Period Party.  I mean, I’ve already had the talk with my daughter and there’s no way to describe the look of horror on her face.  Maybe I should’ve gone the Lammily route.  I mean look at the relief and satisfaction on this child’s face.  Like all life’s mysteries have been solved.


I guess it’s their way of fighting back against period shaming.  Quite frankly, I feel a little shame-ish for even discussing this.  (There’s a fleeting fear that I may be asked to resign from my PTO position.)  But despite how I might feel about the whole issue,  Lammily clearly states:

Warning: Choking hazard. Not for children under 3 years old.

So it all seems legit.



What say thee?

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