Ashley Madison vs. Josh Duggar

21 Aug

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When I first heard the name “Ashley Madison” mentioned, I thought it was a rival of Laura Ashley.  You know…that place that sells church-appropriate clothing.  Perhaps it was intentional.  I mean, honestly.  When you hear the name “Ashley Madison”, do you think of people lurking in virtual dark alleys, offering candy to strangers?  No.  You think of a blonde haired chick who goes to boarding school and wears knee socks.

But when you mention Ashley Madison and Josh Duggar in the same sentence, then you can rest assured there’s something untoward going on.  If you have no clue what I’m talking about, Ashley Madison is a dating/social website that caters to people in married and committed relationships.  Their slogan?  “Life is short.  Have an Affair.”  I agree, life is short.  Probably shorter for those whose emails and phone numbers were released via brilliant hackers.

Back to Josh.  In 2014 he apparently purchased the top-shelf membership that guaranteed a hook-up.  Because I think he’d need that guarantee.  I’m not sure he could successfully score on his own.  I wonder if TLC will go ahead and air “Breaking the Silence” next week, starring the clueless Mr. and Mrs. Duggar, where they counsel victims of sexual abuse.  I wonder if they’ll wear blindfolds.  In all actuality, I highly doubt the thing will hit the airwaves.  Not after Josh’s latest shenanigans.

Here’s the thing.  When you go and hatch 19 kids, you’re pretty much guaranteeing that there will be a handful of derelicts in the bunch.  Statistically speaking.  And the matriarch, Michelle Duggar.  I’m sorry, peaches.  I have a hard time having sympathy for someone who willingly spawned a gaggle of humans.  Like I tell my own kid: Consequences.  CONSEQUENCES!  You know what I think?  I think deep down in the calcified souls of these people, their bulk of angst comes from the massive loss in income.  I’m trying hard not to be a judgmental jerk here.  But dang.

If the Duggars want to continue bringing in the cash, they need to do something like, “19 with Food Stamps”.  See what I did there?  The irony.  Making money on a reality show that centers around obtaining government assistance.

Or may I suggest “Josh Duggar: 19 Counts and Counting.”

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