Southerners + Snow = Ignorance in General

27 Jan



According to the local and national weather gurus, there’s a strong possibility of snow here in the deep south this week.  My kid is more excited than she was at Christmas.  I told her she’d best not run outside looking like Nanook of the North, rolling around like she was 4 crackers shy of a Ritz sleeve.  I survived the Ohio blizzard of 1978.  THAT was snow.  THAT was something to act stupid about.  But it’s the south so you really can’t blame the kids for being excited.  It’s like watching homeless orphans lining up with the hopes of being adopted.  God help us all if we don’t get at least a flurry.

I swear to you right now there’s a family somewhere in this county counting canned goods in their basement, zipping up their kids’ sweaters and telling them that family prayer is in order because this kind of snow and ice will kill a person.  I know you think I’m joking but I’m not.  Four years ago, three stray snowflakes fell out of the sky and it was straight Armageddon up in here.  Milk hoarding, threats of local looting.  You ever seen 367 kids fighting over three snowflakes?  It’ll scar you for life.

So don’t worry about me.  I’ll be fine.  I’ve been hoarding ice-cream salt for three years to prevent the possible humiliation of a slip ‘n fall in front of my neighbors.


2 Responses to “Southerners + Snow = Ignorance in General”

  1. Michael Cargill January 27, 2014 at 8:30 am #

    Funnily enough, it’s a similarish thing down here in the south in England with snow. Even half an inch is enough to cause chaos on the roads and force people to take a day off work.

    Has Cali never seen or played in snow before? It would be great to take a load of kids out for their first snowman.


  2. yogaleigh January 28, 2014 at 1:34 pm #

    I’m from Michigan and lived many years in Chicago so ever since I moved to Kentucky I’ve gotten a kick out of the hysteria over snow. They close schools and businesses because it might snow or a little snow dusted the ground with not enough to cover the grass… And everyone runs to the grocery and buys up all the milk and bread if snow is in the forecast because??? My family has Kentucky roots that go back forever so I know that once in my lifetime (61 years) has there been a snowfall big enough to keep everyone from the grocery for a couple of days. Interesting how place can shape world view.


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