Get My Name Out Your Mouf

20 Jan

So I’ve got a mouthy 6 year old kid.  Anyone else?  Anyone?  Because I’m feeling like a tribe of one over here with this kid.  If I hear another “This too shall pass”, I’m liable to punch a fool OWT.  Now here’s the thing.  She’s golden at school.  When she brings home her monthly “Stellar Behavior” certificates, I put them in the bathroom to use for toilet paper.  Because that’s normal, right?  Be good at school, satanic at home.

For the record, this isn’t your run-of-the-mill mouthing off.  It’s psychological warfare.  Last night she told me I should’ve thought long and hard before having kids.  Five seconds later, she’s flitting through the den….nekkid….with paper wings scotch-taped to her back talking about how she was a baby angel.  In a diaper.

Whatever, man.  Here’s her latest tactic.  She’ll sit there and listen to me rant and rave…wait a few seconds….then bust out singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Mr. Know It All”.  Loudly.  And she knows every single word and riff.  Here’s the video in case you’ve never heard the song.  Now picture a 6 year old singing it to your face.  What would YOU do?  Huh?  What?!

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9 Responses to “Get My Name Out Your Mouf”

  1. jakesprinter January 20, 2012 at 8:46 am #

    Ha,ha your still lucky to have her 🙂

    Like

  2. Michael Cargill January 20, 2012 at 8:48 am #

    She is psychological terrorist. I would run to the nearest ball pool and hide until she went away.

    Like

  3. therealgirlfriday January 20, 2012 at 10:55 am #

    Maybe you should try borrowing another child for a weekend. That way she is not the only child in the house and has to wait her turn for some attention. A child much younger and needier.

    Like

  4. Kate January 20, 2012 at 11:20 am #

    Ouch. Nope.

    (clears couch of dogs, nerf guns, basketballs, stinky track gear and invites you to sit)

    Big mouth boys in this ring.

    Eighteen years of it sister!

    Umm. Ideas. Let’s see. I’m thinking about my five year old niece. If she pulled that trick on me (which she might,) I would be tempted to, ummm.

    Suspend her right to touch my little collectibles on my special shelf until she listens to 15 minutes of my killer Merchant mojo.

    Using the plastic Mic that *I* bought her. Hang in there. You’re the Queen, she is but a princess…let her know!

    Like

  5. J.C.V. January 21, 2012 at 5:02 pm #

    Congratulations! You have won the One Lovely Blogger Award! Check it out here: http://365days2bpublished.com/2012/01/21/one-lovely-blog-award/

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  6. JerriAnn January 21, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

    I have two, six and eight. They are angels with everyone else but the moment…the moment i step in the room, the horns come out. I feel you girl. I think we should move in together when puberty hits. I can’t imagine them PMS AAAAAKKKKKK!!!

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  7. Anna January 23, 2012 at 3:39 pm #

    To be fair, that IS pretty terrifying!

    Like

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  1. One Lovely Blog Award | 365days2bpublished - January 21, 2012

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